sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
