I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
