CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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