I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
