My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
