Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The struggles of a small town man whore
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
