I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
