Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
