is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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