wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
zippers are such a cool invention
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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