Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
