Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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