clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
