someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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