One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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