I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
