I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
