doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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