Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
