Yo dont text me then not text me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
