did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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