is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
