i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
