hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't want my vagina anymore.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
