This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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