I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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