There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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