I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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