They should really pass out barf bags in church
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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