he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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