I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
