Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
