Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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