It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
