i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
