lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
