he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think your dad took our porno
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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