mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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