white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
