he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
