You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
