i barfeds in our rink
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
