I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
