Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
now i know why i became what i already was.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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