me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
