Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
