this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
