Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
