yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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