Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
