"it" just moved
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
