he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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