I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
