Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
