1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
