At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
