I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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