Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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