Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize