Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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