am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
