Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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