I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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